Loss of a loved one can consume you. Just this year I have lost a dog, a friend, my mom and mother in law. That’s a lot to deal with in a short amount of time. A friend of mine asked me how I was dealing with their deaths. I replied, “Meditation and yoga!” I do yoga at least two times a week and meditate every day.
You have to be prepared for emotions to come up during meditation and yoga. Go slowly and ease into the process. I’m including some poses, intentions and breathing exercises to help deal with grief and sadness. Restorative yoga is (in my opinion) the best yoga to help you through this hard time. Below is a restorative yoga sequence you can use. The props you will need 1 bolster, 4 blankets, 2 blocks and an eye pillow. Set an intention to connect to your feelings of your loved one and tell yourself your loved one will always be with you.
Intentions you could use:
- I allow positive energy from the universe to flow through me.
- I let all my feelings flow through me.
- I release my body from stress and worry.
- I embrace my feelings.
- I am loved and supported.
- Legs up the wall with or without a bolster
Any time you are stressed out or feeling anxious legs up the wall or chair is a great way to calm down! This pose is associated with the Root chakra and is very grounding. Place your mat perpendicular to the wall. Have a blanket for your head and bottom. Lay down and place your bottom against the wall with your legs up the wall. Use an eye pillow if desired. Breathe in and out through your nose, concentrating on the present moment. Stay in this pose for 4-5 minutes or longer if desired. To come out of this position remove your eye pillow and blankets then slowly push yourself up to a seated position.
2. Child’s Pose with a bolster
Child’s pose has the benefits of stretching your back, hips and thighs. It also brings blood flow to your brain. It’s very calming and massages your inner organs. Place your bolster vertically on your mat on top of two blocks that are stacked on top of each other. Sit with your bolster between your legs at your groin, with your knees bent. You may place a blanket under your bum. Hug your bolster and go within. Make sure to switch your head to the other side half way through. Breathe deeply into your side ribs and stomach. Stay in this pose for 4-5 minutes. To come out of this pose slowly push yourself up into a seated position, knees bent, remove props then stretch out your legs.
3. Belly down with bolster at hip
Great for tension in your back and menstrual cramps, this pose massages your inner organs and also is very calming. Lay down on you stomach. Place two blankets or a small bolster underneath your belly. Rest your head on your arms. Breathe in and out through your nose. Breathe deep into your belly and chest. Stay in this pose for 4-5mins. To come out push the bolster out of the way then lay on your side. Slowly sit up.
4. Pigeon with bolster
Supported pigeon pose is great for relieving tension in your hips and abdomen. You’d be surprised where you keep tension in your body from the stress of loosing someone. If the bolster is too much use a blanket or two. This puts pressure on your stomach too which holds a lot of emotional tension. Breathe into your chest and belly moving your torso up and down. Make sure to do each side. Come out of pigeon into downward facing dog then back into pigeon with the other side. To come out go into downward dog and walk to standing position. Stay in this position 2 minutes per side for a total of 4 minutes.
5. Belly Savasana
Belly savasana allows you to go within and lets you focus on your breath. This is when you can truly be in the moment. Lay down on your stomach, resting your forehead on your hands. Breathe in and out through your nose. Breathe deeply into your lungs and belly. Stay in this pose for 4-5min. To come out of the pose, push yourself up to your knees going into table top then sit back on your feet.
6. Twists sitting up or supine
Twist are great for wringing out the toxins and allowing new blood flow through. Essentially you are wringing out the grief. Lay down on your back and bring your knees to your chest. Guide you knees to one side of your body. Look the opposite way than your knees. Your arms are out into a T. Spend 2 minutes here then switch sides and head position. Breathe into your side body, in and out through your nose. Stay in this pose 2 minutes per side, a total of 4 minutes. To come out of the pose pull your knees into your chest. Roll over to your side and slowly sit up.
7. Heart Openers (pictured is a restorative heart opener)
Heart openers allow you to receive loving energy straight into your heart. Allow the feelings to arise and embrace them. Grief is like a crying baby, comfort and understand it and it will subside. Place your bolster vertically on your mat. Sit up against your bolster and lower your back onto the bolster. You may place a blanket to support your neck. Place your arms in a goal post position or out to the side. You may have your legs stretched out or in a butterfly position. You can also have them crossed. Breathe deep into your chest and belly. Stay into this pose for 4-5min. To come out-gently push yourself up into a seated position.
Below is a guided meditation you can use for grief and sadness. It is a short meditation that can be done any time of day when you have a moment.
Remember that grief, anger and sadness need to be treated like a crying baby. Comfort and nourish them. Understand that those feeling with subside in time. Don’t dwell on the fact that your loved one is dead, but focus on the fact they will always be with you in spirit. They will always be apart of you. “Talking” to them is not crazy. It helps you deal with the loss.
I hope this help you during these hard times!
Namaste!
Lisa- The Mindful Da Vinci
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